Boundaries: Level Up Leadership Tips – 065

Leaders are learners. Leaders not only seek to learn from everyone and everything around them, they also learn from the unexpected and out of their comfort zone. Leaders learn.

Whether or not you are a person of faith, there are leadership lessons to be learned form the life of Billy Graham. I happened to be in Charlotte this week working with Gardner-Webb University. Billy Graham’s life impact is all around. I got a notice about my flight earlier today – be aware of delays, closed roads, get there earlier than normal because of traffic and long TSA lines (unless you have Pre-Check!). All this because a man died.

Billy Graham had boundaries. There’s a lesson for leaders in the way he lived, most importantly in today’s culture of #metoo and a heightened sensitivity to the ways we treat people. I am appreciative of this new sensitivity and the scrutiny of behavior.

Graham would never be the first one to enter a hotel room while traveling. It was always one of his associates. Why? Because they weren’t willing to take the chance that a photographer was in there with a naked woman ready to get a picture with Billy Graham. His reputation would be ruined.

I recently read that he would not step foot in an elevator if there was only one woman already there. He didn’t want to take the chance. He would wait or take the stairs.

There’s a lesson for us.

I had some rules for my kids around clothes. For my girls, since I understood boys, they were simply: bra straps are not accessory items; no words on your butt Both of those things weren’t going to help boys think good and pure thoughts, something that is difficult enough for a boy when around a beautiful girl.

I can only speak for myself, but I have had boundaries around my leadership for decades because I understood that two things will tae down a life quicker than anything else: money and sex. Both are typically linked to power. We need not look far in today’s news to realize how true this is.

If I’m meeting a woman over coffee, lunch or a rare dinner, my wife has to give the ok. It’s always in a very public place. I never pay for both of us – unless it’s my mom!

If I’m coaching a woman and she is a person of faith, she might ask me to pray for her. I tell her I will but not while we are alone, even in a public place. It’s a line I refuse to cross.

I won’t meet with a woman by myself behind a closed door. If I’m in my office, the door is cracked, there’s always a window in my door or wall, others are in the building, my wife knows and I sit behind my desk.

It might seem excessive to some but I simply don’t want to even give the possible appearance of evil intentions or actions. My character and integrity are too fragile for a social media world.

What are your boundaries? I know there are boundaries for a woman as well. I will leave that for a woman to address. In fact, if someone would care to, let’s collaborate and send it out.

Money boundaries: I try to stay far away from touching any cash, only accepting checks and credit cards. And I try to live simply. I don’t need to look important or successful in someone else’s eyes with clothes or cars. It brings too many things into question for me.

We started with learning leaders. Watch others. Decide whom you want to emulate with boundaries. My “Tip” is, have them. Live in such a way that when you die people will come by the tens of thousands to pay their respects. By the way, it wasn’t because Billy Graham died. It was because of the way he chose to live.

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Be A Champion: Level Up Leadership Tips for Coaches – 064

It’s championship season for many of you. For some it’s just past; for some it’s almost here; for some it will roll around in the Spring or late Fall. Regardless of where you are in your preparation, building a championship mindset is a year round proposition.

Carol Dweck’s research into Mindset certainly helped us all in developing a Growth Mindset ourselves and in those we lead and coach. A championship mindset is similar.

I met with a Coach today who is entering his team’s Conference Championship later this week. We talked about preparation and mindset and motivation. We wondered aloud about a question: “What is the 1 thing you can do for the team?” Just 1 thing. And what YOU can do. How would this help the team focus and prepare? This is one more step toward a championship mindset. Each individual, coach and athlete, has a role to play. And all it takes is just 1 thing.

Here are some other thoughts:

(1) Find your word or phrase. A high school girl’s volleyball team had a fabric stuffed goose that they held high together before each match and after each timeout. Together they yelled: “Mother Goose.” I finally asked one of the players what that was about. Turns out they had learned all about the habits of geese and how flying in V Formation helps them go 71% further than if they were flying alone. It was their word, their phrase, their focus, reminding them of the commitment to the team and playing their part for the benefit of all. What’s yours?

(2) Positive talk. The words we say to ourselves have power. Positive words in public lead to positive words in private. A championship team speaks words that encourage rather than tear down, building each other up, spurring each other on to the next thing.

(3) Embracing failure. Champions do not avoid failure. Failure is merely a thing, it’s energy, and it can be use for something positive or it can beat you down. It’s all in our response. Champions face failure head-on and learn, using it as a stepping stone to their next level. A blown point, a missed opportunity, a bad pass, a strikeout – for a champion these are opportunities to learn and move forward.

Preparation is 95% physical and 5% mental. Competition is 5% physical and 95% mental.

Good luck as you prepare for a week, next month and next season.

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