Every leader must have those difficult conversations:
- accountability
- follow-up
- firing
- performance improvement plan
Leaders must pick up the phone and walk into the fog of uncertainty in some conversations. What keeps a leader from doing so – from leading – is themselves. Plain and simple. Feelings of fear, dread, anxiety; self-talk of “I don’t like this,” – “I really don’t want to do this,” these are all about YOU.
Accountability conversations, needing to fire someone for poor performance or character issues, putting someone on a PIP, these have nothing do with you. Of course, you must ask yourself the question: “Did I do enough as a leader to communicate, coach, and resource this person?” But still the conversation must happen. But how?
Some of these you probably already know but we all know that the pressure of life will help us forget what is best and instead go after the expedient.
(1) With difficult news, NEVER send an email. Positive can go in a note, negative needs to be in person.
(2) Present the information clearly and plainly – Avoiding words such as:
- “I hope you understand” – that’s all about you
- “Please don’t take this the wrong way” – all about you
- “I’m so sorry I have to say/do this” – all about you again
Be empathetic, but don’t own the issues that belong with your direct report. Address the actions that are sub-par. Be clear. Be precise. Use concrete examples and not any 3rd party observations.
(3) Then ask questions. Great leaders are great at asking questions.
- “Does this make sense?”
- If you are delegating a task to them, ask: “What is your first step?”
- If firing or downsizing, ask: “How can I be helpful?”
- “When should we touch base on this again?” – give the other person some sense of control over the situation
Leaders who refuse to walk into the fog of uncertainty will eventually find the situation to be far worse than it was or has to be. Be brave. Nobody likes difficult conversations but leaders learn to have them anyway.
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Jeffery A. Raker – Level Up Leadership Coaching
Jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com