Author: LevelUpCoach

For swimming, it’s the season of new coaches, new teams, new age groups, new teammates, new expectations and goals. Especially when an athlete is on a new team (perhaps Freshman in college or High School), or it’s the same team but a new coach. In either circumstance there is a temptation to blame.

70 years ago, W. Clement Stone invented a formula that has seen a resurgence since 2000: E + R = O

EVENTS will happen in our lives

Our RESPONSE can turn any event into something positive (or negative) and our response is completely under our control.

OUTCOMES are not inevitable.

I’m working with a couple of teams that have new coaches this season. Starting on the right path is crucial. No blame allowed. Take ownership of your response. Sure it’s new, it’s different, it feels uncomfortable, but an athlete’s response is completely within their control. Choose wisely!

When things don’t go well for an athlete; when an athlete has a plan and the plan doesn’t materialize, there will be a tendency to blame the new coach. But blame is the language of defeat and discouragement. Personal accountability (which is what E+R=O is about) means taking responsibility for your actions, your words, your attitude and with whom you choose to associate.

When an athlete starts blaming, redirect them with a question:

“What are you upset/disappointed/frustrated about?” It’s easier to blow it off, tell them to just get at it, say: “It’ll be alright,” and then move on. A longer-lasting, trust-building response will bring more benefits. The Coach-Athlete relationship is one of the three key components for a champion. A simple question can help built it.

It has nothing to do with the new team, the new coach, the new age group. It has everything to do with the individual athlete’s choices. Helping an athlete admit it and own it rather than seek to blame something or someone outside of their control is the pathway to peak performance.

Congratulations to the Mason Manta Rays, Coach Ken Heis and athletes Jake Foster, Carson Foster, and Adam Chaney on a fantastic Junior Pan Pac Championships in Fiji. More to come from them.

Olympic Trials: I’m starting to coach an Olympic Trials marathon qualifier, to get this person ready for February in Atlanta. I’ll keep you updated.

 

“A winning team culture isn’t built on motivational signs, slogans and rah-rah speeches. It’s built on people, values and high standards.” Allistair McCaw

Company culture is important but it’s priority can be easily lost in the day-to-day busyness of business. It’s like a marriage, where there are some important conversations to have along the journey, but the busyness of normal life can help a couple avoid them. It takes effort, planning and focus, plain and simple.

A key question to ask about culture is not only what you want it to be but what do you need to get to the bottom line? For instance, if the goal is to increase revenue year over year, what is needed to make that happen? If you make the culture all about the dollars, you are unlikely to actually get there. If you do, you are very likely to deal with burned out employees and high turnover.

If you emphasize rules, you will likely gain compliance but lose the creativity, innovation and passion required for a great company culture. Employee turnover will also be high. Leaders focus on what they want people to do rather than what they want people to avoid.

Shaping your company culture can start with a series of fill-in’s:

I want our company to be viewed ___________

I want everyone in our company to feel __________

I want my employees to feel that they are part of _____

I want us to believe in ________

Then there are these questions:

(1) Are our managers executive coaches and mentors?

(2) Are we dedicated to health and wellness for our employees?

(3) Are we open to learning new things?

I learned a formula from a mentor many years ago: Rules without Relationships = Rebellion. It works across all relationships, including your company culture. Building healthy relationships with your people is the foundation of a great company culture. It’s not a waste of time.

Start building your culture in the direction you want it to go. Take control today.

The #1 way to increase success – in the office, in the boardroom on the track or field, in the pool or gym, on the court, while coaching – is self-talk. Every day there are 60,000 thoughts and impressions going through your mind. Every day you have the opportunity to program your brain. You have complete control of the words you say to yourself. Know this, you hear everything you say, whether out loud or in your mind.

There is a strategy that works and I’ll share it with you in a moment. First, I have to revisit the foundation of all successful tips and tricks for success: self-awareness. Successful people are self-aware people. They know what they are feeling when they are feeling it. They perceive themselves IN THE MOMENT. They are aware. It’s this awareness that creates the soil in which the tips, tricks & techniques can grow and mature. Without self-awareness, these effective tools won’t last long.

So grow your self-awareness first (here are some Tips I’ve written that deal with self-awareness), then plant this trick.

What’s the self-talk trick? Name your inner critic. Give a name to that voice in your head that tells you you are worthless, no good, can’t do anything right and aren’t capable. Name it something funny like Sponge Bob. Name it Lucy or Ethel. Name it after your favorite cartoon character. Name it something that will make you chuckle. Then as you become aware of what you are saying when you are saying it, say out loud (it has to be out loud to work): “Bob, stop that!” Tell that critic he or she is not telling you the truth about yourself. “Who says I’m not good enough? Be quiet, Bob!”

A client earlier this week said in our session, “I’m probably wrong, but…” I stopped and challenged that. No. “Be quiet, Bob!”

Try it. Let me know how it works for you. I know it works for my clients who try it. I know it works because it works for me too!

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Check out this video I did for one of my sports teams, the Mason Manta Rays, as they head off to Junior and Senior National Championships starting next week. It doesn’t matter whether you are a business leader, an athlete or a coach. You all share something in common: you are human beings. The principles that work for athletes, work in business success too.

Every leader must have those difficult conversations:

• accountability
• follow-up
• firing
• performance improvement plan

Leaders must pick up the phone and walk into the fog of uncertainty in some conversations. What keeps a leader from doing so – from leading – is themselves. Plain and simple. Feelings of fear, dread, anxiety; self-talk of “I don’t like this,” – “I really don’t want to do this,” these are all about YOU.

Accountability conversations, needing to fire someone for poor performance or character issues, putting someone on a PIP, these have nothing do with you. Of course, you must ask yourself the question: “Did I do enough as a leader to communicate, coach, and resource this person?” But still the conversation must happen. But how?

Some of these you probably already know but we all know that the pressure of life will help us forget what is best and instead go after the expedient.

(1) With difficult news, NEVER send an email. Positive can go in a note, negative needs to be in person.

(2) Present the information clearly and plainly – Avoiding words such as:

• “I hope you understand” – that’s all about you
• “Please don’t take this the wrong way” – all about you
• “I’m so sorry I have to say/do this” – all about you again

Be empathetic, but don’t own the issues that belong with your direct report. Address the actions that are sub-par. Be clear. Be precise. Use concrete examples and not any 3rd party observations.

(3) Then ask questions. Great leaders are great at asking questions.

• “Does this make sense?”
• If you are delegating a task to them, ask: “What is your first step?”
• If firing or downsizing, ask: “How can I be helpful?”
• “When should we touch base on this again?” – give the other person some sense of control over the situation

Leaders who refuse to walk into the fog of uncertainty will eventually find the situation to be far worse than it was or has to be. Be brave. Nobody likes difficult conversations but leaders learn to have them anyway.

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Jeffery A. Raker – Level Up Leadership Coaching

Jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com

In the crypts of Westminster Abbey, the following words were written on the tomb of an 11th Century Anglican Bishop:

“When I was young and free my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew in my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realized: If I had only changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed my world.”

May each of us realize this before we arrive at our deathbed.

In other to (W)In the Moment, you must first be IN the Moment.

As I watched The Player’s Championship from TPC Sawgrass Golf Course, on the 2nd day Webb Simpson led by 7 shots, within striking distance of the hallowed 59 shots for a round of golf. He was now on the Par 4 17th Hole – the Island Hole – the green surrounded by water – intimidating & nerve wracking.

For a golfer, this is the ultimate test of nerves and mental toughness. Simpson’s first shot hit in the front, on the wood surrounding the green, bounced high, landed and rolled off the back edge into the water. Moving to the drop zone, he had to do it again and this time his ball landed safely.

Nerves of steel? That’s probably a good description. He recovered on the 18th and on Saturday played another great round. He won on Sunday.

It’s not our mistakes that define us. It’s what we do after the mistake that reveals our mental toughness.

As a coach, what do you do to keep your athletes focused on the moment before them, rather than a mistake from the past, however close that past is?

You, the Coach, have a profound influence on the mental toughness of the athletes you serve. Because practice is 90% physical and 10% mental and that flip flops in competition, where it is 10% physical and 90% mental, there are some key things you can do for your athletes in the pressure of competition.

One action sits above all others. Athletes regularly identify SELF-TALK as the first key they need to attack to reach their peak performance. A Coach’s words, therefore, become instrumental.

I ask athletes what they would think if a Coach said to them: “You can’t do anything right! What are you doing out there? That is not the way you have learned! I can’t believe you!”

Then I ask: “How many of you say those things to yourself?” Most say: “at least some or a lot of the time.”

Being (W)In the Moment requires positive self-talk. Here’s one thought about how you can help: avoid the word “should” and replace it with “could.” The impact is astounding. Self-talk becomes more positive because “could” owns the blame whereas “should” acts like a battering ram demonstrating incapability. “Could” is a step toward the possibilities, whereas “should” lead to feelings of judgment and failure.

Said another way, people already know what they “should have” done. A great Coach or mentor will tell them “you could have” and now “you can.”

Once “could” has been accepted or answered, then ask: “How would you do it differently next time?” When a Coach is (W)In the Moment, you can help your athletes be (W)In the Moment. It can start with you.

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Is your leadership being undermined by a volcanic threat?

My heart breaks for the people whose lives are being upended, swallowed and burned up by the newest eruptions of Kilauea on the Big Island of Hawaii. I have no idea what they are feeling but can only imagine the gut punch.

For the past year, ok 2 year, ok really it’s been a lifetime, I’ve observed leadership being undermined by the leader themselves. Today it occurred to me that there is great danger lurking beneath the facade of many leaders that threats to swallow them whole and destroy those they lead in the process. Leadership is a high calling, which is why I believe the #1 thing for a leader to cultivate is their character.

The #metoo movement has exposed a dangerous river of uncontrolled lust and power running beneath the lives of many. Too many. I’m glad to see the push for greater accountability and higher moral standards. Mostly, I’m overjoyed to see more people getting on board with respect for women. I hope it grows to greater respect for people in general.

What lies beneath us may be more of a determining factor of our leadership success than our IQ, EQ, or charisma. What looks safe and secure, can quickly be undermined by that which we have refused to deal with, we have ignored, or pushed aside or lack of awareness, often because we eschew feedback.

Most recently the former NY AG, Eric Schneiderman, resigned over assault allegations. A rising political star in his party, brought down by an eruption of that which had been circling beneath him. The list is long. It’s too long. It’s not the list on which you want to find your name. Think you stand firm? Beware. What is underneath?

My wife and I were in Hawaii last year for our 30th anniversary. It’s beautiful! I know several people who are residents of the islands. I am jealous of their pictures and posts, especially when I look outside my office window at the gray, cold and snowy Ohio winters. In Hawaii the weather is pretty boring if you ask me. Mostly always it’s the same. At least Ohio has the advantage of giving us variety, often in just minutes. Is that an advantage? But I digress.

I see the draw of owning a house in the Hawaiian Islands. It’s truly stunning. Then there is the volcano. Multiple volcanoes, not to mention one of the world’s most active called Kilauea. The evidence of its destructive power lies all around. Lava fields which cover once lush fields and entire subdivisions. The 1990 eruption is a signpost for all to see. So why build a home nearby or on the side of a volcano?

How do you know what’s underneath, threatening your home? What about that which threatens your leadership and your life? Honestly, most people know at least some of the issues in their own lives. A better question might be: How do you discover what you don’t know is there?

I remember saying to myself earlier in life: “If I can’t figure this out in my own life, I can at least help other people figure it out.” If you are unable to look back at your life and be aghast at how stupid you were, you have to question your leadership capabilities. Leaders are learners. You can only lead as far as you’ve gone yourself, so it’s imperative to do the work in order to be able to share the journey.

Leadership who choose to ignore their issues deserve what they have coming. It’s simple – You deserve what you allow.

There are things that can be done. As a Leadership Coach, I help people discover those things that threaten their leadership. I celebrate and strengthen strengths, uncover weaknesses and help people change behaviors that threaten the foundation of their leadership.

The molten magma that can undermine leadership tends to have three things in common across all levels, industries, genders and cultures. There is also the matter of the ground that hides or covers the threat. Let’s start there.

Lack of self-awareness is the covering that does not allow a leader to see what is dangerous below. There is an abundance of literature about growing your self-awareness and I would encourage you to search it out and learn. Self-awareness is simply the moment to moment insight one has about their feelings, how you come across to others and how others perceive you. There’s more to it but these are important pillars.

For my purpose here, I will simply mention three things that lead to this lack of awareness in most people’s lives.

First, lack of reflection. Leaders who don’t take time to reflect on their lives and leadership decisions are not going to be self-aware. Second, defensiveness. Leaders who can’t listen to, ask questions about, and apply learnings from feedback are going to grow blindspots rather than awareness. Self-aware leaders actually seek out feedback. Third, hubris – arrogance – pride. This may cover the other two but it has its own tentacles with far reaching effects.

Underneath this lack of awareness lurks the leadership magma that will destroy a leader. I have found that it comes in three ways. Like a fire smoldering in the attic or walls, these tendencies or traits will burst forth without warning. As Kilauea reminds us, it will bubble up in unexpected places too.

#1 – HABITS

Aristotle said: “We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts…we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

If he’s right about excellence, and I believe he is, then it’s also true about imperfection. Leadership habits can help or hurt. Habitual magma includes things like: not prioritizing relationships; anger; lack of communication either by using too many words or not enough of them. The things we repeatedly do in the negative will eventually open fissures underneath relationships, companies, and the foundations of a business.

The most frequent bad leadership habit I see? Body Language that communicates lack of interest in others.

Be aware.

#2 – BELIEFS

The way a leader reacts to the circumstances and events of life is related less to the event and more to their beliefs about the event. If I believe, for instance, that people are lazy and incompetent, then when a project fails, I’m going to target those lazy and incompetent people. However, if I believe that people want to do excellent work, then when a project fails, I’m going to look at other possible issues to explain the failure.

Beliefs are the filter through which we interpret the events of our lives. What do you believe about people? About yourself? What are your beliefs about work? Success?

Successful people spend the time to understand these beliefs in their lives.

#3 – GRUDGES

Lack of forgiveness is, for me, the biggest cause of heat in the bubbling cauldron underneath a leader’s life. Holding grudges is distracting and debilitating. It gives all the power to those with whom you are angry. Leaders who hold grudges live in the past and make decisions based on what has happened versus what needs to happen.

Forgiveness is a 1-way street, not requiring the other person to deserve it or even receive it. Reconciliation is a 2-way street and it’s also what does not need to happen for success. It’s unfortunate, but unfortunately people don’t always figure out how to get along.

Successful people forgive quickly. They move on and do not feel responsible for the feelings and decisions of others.

What’s bubbling beneath your leadership? Be aware. Be careful. Take care of it before it explodes.