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Mental & Emotional Wellness in a Pandemic

The conversations have been consistent with leaders in all industries.

I am an observer of data points. When I see consistencies, repetitions or anomalies, I pay attention. One of my clients, a Senior Vice President of a global communications company, taught me a lot about looking for these “points.” It’s what he does for a living and simply coaching through his work scenarios, I gained insights and furthered my personal study.

Leaders are weary. Some leaders are weary because business is skyrocketing, busier than ever: grocery industry, video communications, financial advisors, cleaning companies, to name a few.

Other leaders are weary because so much has changed. One client, an engineer, changed jobs last month because as frustrating as the lack of people skills at his previous company were, going into the office and interacting with other people was what kept him there. Working from home took the positive part of the job away. So he got a raise and flexibility to Work from Anywhere.

Working from home is exposing (sorry for the choice of words) some habits that are inappropriate in public, i.e. Toobin. I’m watching other people do stupid things and it’s more from weariness and mental exhaustion than anything else. And, yes, some people just lack self-awareness and that’s being exposed as well.

We’re on hyper-alert like a hurricane is approaching, but unlike the hurricane which comes, goes, leaves a mess, and we pick up and clean up, this hurricane has stalled over us. We’re not designed for this level of vigilance without a break. We aren’t certain when it will end.

Athletes call me with questions:

  • “I’m a senior and we aren’t even sure we’ll have a championships. Is it worth continuing?”
  • “I’m so unmotivated right now. I train because of the people I get to interact with and now I have to stay away from them even while training. What can I do?”
  • “A teammate tested positive for Covid. Now practice is cancelled for 2 weeks. Can you help me work through this?” (Just like working through an injury….but different.)

Business leaders call me with questions:

  • “We’ve survived this year decently. But Q1 and Q2 look awful. Can you help me think through this?”
  • “I’m so close to retirement but not there yet. I’m not sure what to do. Are you up for a conversation.” (This is one reason I recently added a Master Financial Coach certification, to walk alongside people.)
  • “Juggling work from home, homeschooling kids, and completely interrupting my husband’s schedule as he does mine. I’ve always worked from home and now he is too. Can you walk us through this?” (Having been a Pastor for 30 years, I get relationships and marriage really well.)

This is a sampling of what I’m getting. Where do you see yourself? It’s all of us at one level or another.

What do we do?

A big answer, I believe, comes from the world of addiction recovery. I find it helpful. Others are finding it helpful. You will find it helpful. These are the kinds of things I’m sharing with clients because we are all human beings in the same world.

H.A.L.T. – is about understanding your triggers that lead to depression (not all depression), mental and emotional exhaustion, fits of anger, lack of productivity, and more.

HUNGRY – when we are hungry we are not thinking as clearly. Being aware of what we are eating when we are working from home so much more than before can be a challenge. It’s too easy to nibble and snack throughout the whole day. Being aware that coffee and carbonated drinks (not to mention the sugar in most) dehydrate us, is crucial to thinking clearly on consistent video calls. And watch the alcohol.

Pay attention to what your body needs. Feed your body what it needs rather than what it wants. Make sure you don’t go into a meeting hungry. When we are hungry we can tend to do stupid things more than at other times

ANGRY – when we are angry we do stupid things because we are thinking emotionally not rationally. Pay attention to when you get angry – what time to day? with whom? in what situations? is it when you are hungry? Do you get angry when someone else is angry with you? What are your triggers?

Angry people are not good leaders or decision makers. And always remember that someone else’s anger is never about you. It’s always about them. So is yours!

LONELY – people who are lonely do more stupid things than people who feel connected. In pandemic lockdowns and stay at home orders, this is a tough one. Video chats can only do so much.

The importance of connecting with people physically face to face – even mask to mask – cannot be overstated. We are relational beings, created for relationships not isolation. I certainly can’t tell anyone exactly how to do this, but it’s so important to find a way.

I have found that walking around my neighborhood is helpful. Regardless of engaging in long conversations or not, I see different things, different areas, and people. Even in the cold it’s possible for me. It may not be possible for you. What else can you do?

TIRED – sleep is the #1 thing from which all of us would benefit if we got more of it. Seven to eight hours a night is where our brains and bodies function at their optimal level. Athletes have less injuries at this level of sleep. My friend Dr. Richard Swinbourne, Ph.D. has taught me so much about the importance of sleep. It was the topic of his dissertation.

Turn off the phones and screens 30 minutes before bedtime. Go to bed at a similar time each night. Create a pattern for yourself. When you are tired you are more prone to do stupid things.

These four things are interactive. They feed off of each other. Change one and others will automatically change. For instance, get more sleep and because you are thinking more clearly you will be less angry; you will make better choices about what you eat.

I sum it up this way: you are the only you you get in this life. Take care of yourself. You are worth it.

Do what you need to do for you, without apology. Your career may depend on it. Your mental and emotional health, that impacts your whole life, definitely depends on it.

Take 1-Minute to watch this Question for Today video that can help you lead yourself through this time in our lives.

Jeffery A. Raker

Level Up Leadership Coaching

Jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com – contact me to find out what Leadership Coaching, Financial Coaching, or Relationship Coaching can do for you right now

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Time to Move

Life is full of detours, delays, and dumb things. All of them bump into our lives. Some of them change the trajectory of our lives. Some things are just annoyances.

A friend and colleague, Kevin Applegate, dropped a pearl of wisdom in my lap many years ago. Kevin is full of it….wisdom that is. I was nursing and rehearsing my frustrations with not being able to do some things at a particular time in the life of a church, and Kevin simply said: “Do what you can. Don’t worry about what you can’t.”

He just let it sit there. I sat back and soaked it up. 

In the early Centuries A.D., some monks (I believe it was Monks…could have been the Desert Fathers of the 4th Century……doesn’t really matter) said: “When you don’t know what to do, just do the next right thing.”

It’s a pearl of wisdom I often share with Coaching clients to kick them out of neutral, which in emotional terms is the gear found in frustration. When life feels cut off from the past and uncertain about the future, we can feel paralyzed or stuck.

We might cry out with the Psalmist: “How long, O, Lord? How long?” (Psalm 13; 35:17)

When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt, He experienced a “stuck” moment. 

Exodus 14:13-16: “Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

15 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. 16 Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground.”

Sometimes we cry out to God in our frustration or fear (or both), and God says – “Move!”

  • Do the next right thing.
  • Don’t worry about what you can’t do. Do what you can.
  • Rather than waiting for God to do something, what can you do now?

Often I find that it’s not until I take a step in the direction I sense from God that I see steps 2, 3, 4, and more. It takes me moving.

We pray for God to work, to solve, to rescue but don’t move ourselves. We’re like Moses saying: “stand firm” and watch God. And God is saying, stop standing there and move.

I speak of “Praise the Pieces of the Process” when Coaching leadership. Once we become clear about our goal in a month, six months, a year or more, then we can work backwards to understand the process.

If I want to run a marathon in a year, then I have to start by working toward running a mile. Or perhaps I need to get the right shoes as a first step.

If I want to bench press 200 lbs, I need to first bench press 100 lbs. A power-lifting world champion friend says it just takes energy and time. I agree. I would add that it takes steps in the right direction.

We often get so wrapped up in the goal that we miss the pieces of the process. We get stuck. If we break down the goal into steps and milestones, concentrating on those, then the goal will take care of itself. Along the way, we win with each step of the process.

To my email list of business and sports clients and potential clients, I am saying: “Use this time to grow your leadership so that you are ready for your next steps.” There are always things we can do.

Applying this idea to our present world circumstances, I’m drawn to a song by Matthew West titled: “Do Something.” 

The lyrics in part read:

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now, thought
How’d we ever get so far down, and
How’s it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”
Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, “God, why don’t You do something?”
He said, “I did, yeah, I created you”

What is a step you need to take today?
What can you do?

Be blessed to be a blessing

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Lead by Communicating

If you are a leader in today’s fast shifting time, communication can be your enemy or it can be your friend.

The goal of a leader’s communication is to take the guesswork out of your people’s day to day.

4 keys to communication that for the most part are good any time, except now the frequency of communication is crucial.

  1. Consistency is #1. Be consistent with what you say. When circumstances change, as they are daily right now, then say that. Give the reason for the change.
  2. Frequency. In times of uncertainty and fear, frequent consistent communication is a must. I’m encouraging leaders to communicate with their people EVERY day.
  3. Conciseness. Too many words and your people will get lost in them. Too few words and your people will have to fill in the blanks. Be balanced. Answer questions but don’t try to answer everything. There is no way to right now. Be truthful about what you don’t know.
  4. Caring. Let your people know you care. Let them know where you are struggling. Be real with them. Be human.

These are four cornerstone’s that I’m suggesting to clients. Let me know how it goes. And if you want to get on a call for 30 minutes to clear your own mind about what you do next, let’s do it. This is my way of adding value to my world right now. No dollars needed right now.

Jeff Raker, Executive Coach

Level Up Leadership Coaching

jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com

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New Times – New Growth

During this unprecedented time, leaders still lead and one way you can do that is to grow YOU. It’s not time we wanted but it is time we have. How will we use it to grow?


I hope that each of you is spending some extra time with family; sleeping a bit more; getting some projects done around the house. What are you going to do to grow? Leaders are learners.


As a way to serve you, your athletes, your staff, your team, I’m offering a free webinar for your personal growth.


Self-awareness is the foundation of all successful leadership. It’s also the foundation of athletic success. Everything we do and say goes through US. Making sure we are at our best is the best thing we can do for the people we serve and lead.


Let’s take this time we have to grow ourselves so that when we are back with teams and staff, we are better leaders than we were before. To wet your appetite, consider the attached graphic.


There are two options for you to choose from:
Tuesday 17th – 9 a.m. ESTWednesday 18th – 1 p.m. EST

How long: one hour


Sign up: (a) Send me an email (jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com) with your Skype address and I’ll add you to the group (b) let me know which date


My Skype address is Jeff.raker64

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Presence: Level Up Leadership Tips

03 February 2020


“It’s not about the number of hours you practice, it’s about the number of hours your mind is present during the practice.” – Kobe Bryant


The sports world shockwave from the tragic death of nine persons in Calabasas, CA, including basketball star, Kobe Bryant, touched more than just sports fans. There is a tremendous overlap of what business leaders can learn from sports and sports athletes can learn from business. Sports coaches live a bit in both world, but as leaders they are leading a business.
Being present is a vital component of executive presence. It’s a core piece of practice that leads to excellence and mastery in performance. Meaningless motion will not lead to success in what you pursue.


Being present means listening to hear rather than listening to respond.
Being present refers to thinking about what you are doing rather than what you did or will do. Your mind is in the present. It doesn’t mean you won’t anticipate and be prepared, and you certainly can learn, but your focus is here and now.


Leaders who are present are curious in their attention to others. It might be called empathy, this being present thing, communicating real care to the one you stand next to or in front of.


Present leaders don’t have to respond every time someone says something. These leaders do not have to speak into every situation. Present leaders make things about the people around them rather than their need to say words, which are all about the person speaking.


How do you grow your ability to be present?


A simple discipline practiced over time will increase your self-awareness which is required for being present. You must know when you are not present in order to make the decision to be present.


Breathe. The one who controls their breathing controls their brain. It’s scientifically proven. Sitting or lying down, spend 5 minutes every day or multiples times a day and breathe, deeply, slowly. While you are breathing, notice everything that happens, to every limb, every muscle. By training your brain to pay attention in this way, you will begin to control your presence in leadership.


I know it works because it works for me. I know it works because of the testimony of clients who follow it.

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The 3 P’s: Level Up Leadership Tips

A recent conversation with one of my 1-on-1 athletes led to thinking about thinking. (If you are a human being who is seeking to grow your leadership, athlete or not, read on.)


I noticed some patterns in this athletes words, phrases, and images. They led me to share some great insights from the father of Positive Psychology, Dr. Martin Seligman with his 3 P’s of Thinking. When I observe these, I know there can be trouble, a slippery slope into a fatalistic approach to leadership, competition, and life.


Here is an excerpt from my book in progress, “The Journey from Average to Elite”:

1. Personal – The brain begins to interpret the event in a personal way. “Why didn’t that sale happen? I’m no good.” When a race goes poorly, when a salesperson doesn’t make a sale, when anything negative results, if “I’m a failure” becomes your self-talk, you will be held in the grip of the past.You interpret in a way that says: “I’m not good enough.” Every leader does stuff that doesn’t work. But the “dummies” don’t take it personally. They say “I guess they weren’t ready, or I need to tweak the presentation.”

But they don’t conclude it’s because “I’m not good enough.” And they go on to succeed. You will never see an elite athlete carrying this baggage to the next level because the baggage is too heavy to make it that far. It will be a ball and chain, keeping you anchored in place.For those who take it personally, the brain begins to shut down, and goes to the next P.

2. Pervasive – “My whole life sucks.” The individual event becomes the picture for everything. It goes to a different region of the brain and everything goes bad. Then there’s another event. You get an email that’s critical. You have another bad performance. You injure yourself, and see it as evidence that it’s because you are you. It reinforces the first two Ps. Then to the third P:

3. Permanent – You think it’s permanent. Once the brain begins to go into this state, things can get bad. It’s a downward spiral with force that seeks to keep you down. But there is a way out. I challenge this thinking with athletes, asking questions that often start with, “Really?” One athlete was so deep, I leaned forward and said, “It’s a good thing you get up in the morning or the sun wouldn’t even rise!”


My recent 1 on 1 conversation went from crying (because it was so bad) to laughing and then crying because of the relief.

Do you see yourself? Do you see your co-workers? your athletes? your boss?

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Mental Wellness for Coaches: Level Up Leadership Tips

Mental wellness is in the news more and more lately, and I’m grateful that it is. Emotional and mental wellness are key components of successful living and sports performance. I’m glad to see world-class athletes speaking up and encouraging others. This is a topic that comes up frequently in my sessions with athletes.

Mental wellness is by no means limited to sports. It’s vital for success in business too. The thoughts contained here pertain to business leaders too.


Let’s not leave Coaches out of the conversation, though. That’s been the latest trend and I hope it’s not short-lived. In my world of swimming, there have been multiple articles, and Facebook threads, talking about the mental and emotional wellness of coaches. Here is a link to one article: Mental Wellness. I know it’s not limited to swimming. This is an issue in all sports because all coaches are human beings dealing with other human beings.


It’s far too easy for a Coach to avoid putting effort into mental and emotional wellness. It’s difficult to measure. It doesn’t have a box on the win-loss sheets. You can’t put a stopwatch on it. And in the midst of the season – and if you’re in college sports or working with elite club athletes – the season is never over.


When results are more about feelings and clarity of mind, what do you do?
The key is discovering your personal triggers, owning what really happens, and then replacing what doesn’t work. It’s not “3 Easy Steps to Wellness.” The process works but the process takes work.


Presently I’m working with 4 sports coaches through this process that works. They would all tell you that it’s difficult work that is well worth it.
Let me share two tools you might use to help:

  1. Learn to say “No.” Sounds too simple and then comes the real question: “What keeps me from being able to say , ’No?’” That’s where the work comes into play. What are your personal triggers? What are the barriers? You can, however, start from wherever you are. Just as you would encourage an athlete to say no to things that aren’t helpful to peak performance, so the same rings true for you.

You might also get at it by answering the question: “Do I feel guilty when I relax?” And I’m going to dig into by asking: “And what’s that about?”

  1. Make a “T-Chart” with one side labeled “Control” and the other side “Not Control.” This is a simple exercise that works with any leader of any age in any situation. Writing it down is a big part of the key. 

What do you control in your life? What do you not control? When I do this with athletes, they write down things they don’t control, including: officials, other competitors, weather, track/field/court conditions, and more. Under their control: attitude, actions, words, showing up, and more.
What are on your lists?


Working on you is just as important as knowing the latest training approaches for your sport. You can have the best training approach, but if you aren’t leading you, it will lead to burn out. 


But how? That’s the question. It’s the question that I help you answer. Doing the work to discover the triggers in your life is the only thing that will enable this new living to actually happen.


We do it with athletes – you as a sports Coach and me as a Leadership Coach – helping them discover, own, and replace those triggers that impede their next level performance. 


Spend time on you. Spend resources on your personal development. You are worth it. Let’s talk.


This is a passion of mine, coming from a 30-year career as a Pastor, and recently moving full-time into Leadership Coaching. I am passionate about helping people get to their next level of leadership and performance, and the pathway leads through YOU.


I’m looking forward to addressing some gatherings of coaches and A.D.’s in May, although I cannot yet share who and where until we finalize schedules. I hope to see you before then, though.

Jeffery A. Raker, Level Up Coaching – Jeff@levelupleadershipcoach.com

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Trust: Level Up Leadership Tips

Teams and companies are only as effective as the level of trust. A recent article paraphrased business consultant, Patrick Lencioni: Build a culture of trust in which employees are encouraged – nay, expected – to voice their concerns, criticisms, and suggestions for improvement sooner rather than later. When silence is no longer an acceptable response and comments are made with respect, then organizational health will follow.


It’s risky but absolutely necessary to go to the next level of effectiveness.
I once served in an organization where the Board insisted on “anonymous” feedback. Fear ruled the culture more than trust, and as the leader, I had to take responsibility for it. Every leader does.


What can you do:
1) Ask Questions like: “I’m not sure which way to go with this. What do you think?” This invites people into the process and shares ownership. This builds trust if it’s asked sincerely and with open ears.


2) Recognize employees who go the extra mile. Send them a personal note; recognize them publicly when their behaviors represent the culture you want to build.


3) Ask for feedback: “What is the one thing I bring to the company that makes a positive difference?” – “What is something I do that detracts from us being more effective?”


This is a great way to get feedback and the more you act on it, the more trust you will build. Remember, everyone is blind to their blindspots. Start with one on one conversations.


When you get to a place of greater trust, you can ask these kinds of questions in a group setting. Ask them for everyone and from everyone. You could even set up a group meeting ahead of time with your front-line leaders who are told they will go first!


This week, how will you build trust with your team? with others?

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Are you a Sports Psychologist?

A family relative said to me recently, “Sports psychology is what people think you do.”

He knows it’s not what I do. I know it’s not what I do. But it’s easy to assume that’s what I do. So what do I do?

I am an Executive Leadership Coach who has taken the training and skills from that certification, combined it with 30 years of leading people in the non-profit arena; mixed it with my passion for sports and my continued pursuit of competition as a Master’s athlete. This gives me a very unique toolbox from which to draw to meet the needs of coaches, teams, individual athletes, and athletic departments.

I teach leadership. It’s that simple and complex. I am not a mental coach, although mental toughness is a path that crosses leadership. I am not a psychologist who is concerned about WHY something is the way it is, or WHY you behave the way you do. I want to know WHAT you are going to do about it today regardless of the WHY.

I teach self-leadership through building a foundation of self-awareness. All the tips, tricks, and techniques of a mental coach will not last without being planted in the soil of self-awareness and self-leadership.

First, I help people get to KNOW who they are through an assessment. I most often use a DiSC Assessment, but StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, or others can easily find their way into my work. It really doesn’t matter what assessment you utilize, the important part is to KNOW who you are at a deeper level than before.

Second, I help people EMBRACE themselves. This is vital, and also a place where I bring a unique skill set. For 30 years I served as a Pastor of a Local Church, helping people KNOW and EMBRACE themselves. Each unique individual is valuable and to EMBRACE means to treat yourself with value. I help individuals and teams create a non-judgmental culture that allows people to grow, while providing boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not within the pursuit of team goals.

Third, I help people LEAD themselves. From becoming their own best coach to applying principles of neuroscience and self-awareness in a variety of settings, people I work with truly learn how to LEAD who they are.

Who you are is never an excuse for poor behavior. Awareness is about embracing your strengths and weaknesses, and learning how to adapt and grow to perform at your highest level possible.

I do have two Ph.D. Psychologists who serve as advisors for me, one of whom is a sports fanatic and works with athletes on a variety of levels. They do help me when I may get in over my head. That’s part of self-leadership by the way, knowing when I need help and then asking for it. There is no condemnation for not getting it done by myself. That’s the EMBRACE part.

Let me know how I can help you, your team, your staff.

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Coaching – What Do You Do?

“So, you are now doing Life Coaching, I see,” a friend recently said. I should have asked, “What led you to that conclusion?” but instead I came out swinging:

“I am an Executive Leadership Coach.”

Life Coaching is a valid profession, that fills a nitch in our culture. But it is far from what I do as an Executive Leadership Coach.

As an Executive Coach, I am concerned with the behavior of my client. Together we will pursue behaviors that have a positive impact on the business. The ultimate goal is not happiness, although happiness does tend to result from leading with behaviors that are making a positive impact. The difference is in the goal.

Life Coaching is concerned with the personal life of the individual. Executive Coaching is concerned with the business behavior of the client. What we accomplish will most likely carry an impact at home and in other relationships, but that is not the arena in which I work.